There are many valid reasons for entering therapy. If you are in emotional pain, if you feel sad, lonely, anxious, or worried and have been feeling that way for a period of time, therapy can often help. If you suffer from insecurity, feelings of low self worth, or have difficulty making decisions, the supportive relationship therapy offers can usually help you feel better about yourself, get in touch with and clarify your feelings. Talking to friends may help you feel better, but does not provide the kind of objectivity and insight which produces real understanding and allows you to change.  A quiet and supportive environment allows you to take the time to stop, reflect and learn.

 

An equally important reason to enter therapy is unsatisfying or even self-destructive patterns of behavior. When you know that the behavior hurts you, yet you feel stuck and unable to change it, a therapist can work with you to help you understand and eventually gain control over the behavior. For example, you are in a difficult or masochistic relationship, yet persist in it, despite clear evidence that the relationship will not improve. Or you stay in a bad job. Or you repeat behavior that ruins your chances for professional success, or consistently and knowingly display attitudes that alienate people.

What these patterns have in common is that they are driven by motives outside of your consciousness - they are compulsive. By definition, compulsions are outside your conscious control; attempts to 'will' yourself to change result in failure and self-blame. The only way to gain control over compulsions is to unearth and unravel the unconscious motives that drive them. Once you uncover the underlying conflicts and motives, you can take actions to resolve these issues. This awareness - making the unconscious become conscious, is part of the work of therapy, and sometimes the awareness itself can dissipate the need for the compulsive behavior and allow you to gain control of this aspect of your life.

Alcohol and Drug Abuse
A particularly potent form of compulsive self-destructive behavior is the addictive use of alcohol or drugs. These substances are often used as sedatives or anesthetics to escape painful feelings, and their use is a form of slow suicide. Many believe that alcohol addiction is the number one health problem facing America.  If you do suffer from substance abuse or addiction, treatment may include referral for temporary medication in addition to psychotherapy, because we believe substance abuse is often an attempt to medicate painful feelings, which are better handled under appropriate medical supervision and in therapy. If you have developed a full-blown addiction, hospitalization for detoxification may be appropriate.

Alienation and Insecurity
In some instances, you may not be aware of specific painful feelings, but feel uninvolved, have difficulty making decisions and a sense that something is missing, that things aren't going well, but you aren't sure what the problem is. In that case, our first goal is to identify what is preventing you from feeling better, growing and making changes. Talking to a trained professional should help you get in touch with your feelings and uncover what is getting in your way.

Low Self-Esteem
One important reason to consider counseling or therapy has to do with self-esteem. Feelings of low self-worth often accompany other issues, and are painful and damaging. How you feel about yourself - and how you treat yourself - is crucial to your well being. If low self-esteem is an issue, our goal is to work with you to increase your feelings of self-worth, and to help you get in touch with your strengths. While they wouldn't hesitate to call a doctor for a flu or broken bone, emotional issues - equally real and potentially debilitating, seem somehow less quantifiable.

Relationship Problems
For couples, you may not feel "heard" by your partner and have difficulty communicating, or you may have specific differences around how to handle money, children, or other issues. Your relationship may have turned tense and acrimonious, or you may feel you are drifting apart.

This is just a brief discussion of some of the problems and pressures that often drive individuals to look for professional help when dealing with their lives. It's not meant to cover every issue, or be comprehensive. If you have problems that seem to overwhelm you, you should contact a mental health professional whether it involves addiction or some other focus. If you're not sure who to call, you can call Reliance Center™. We can help you begin the process of finding a counselor or therapist who can help you and with whom you will be comfortable.

 

(Information provided by Psychotherapy Affiliates, a private psychotherapy practice.)